Matt’s alter ego, Reuben R. Reuben, once traveled the wilds of Los Angeles and Chicago, hunting, eating and occasionally cooking Reuben sandwiches.  He would then write about the meal and the experience, giving the world’s greatest sandwich the respect it deserves.

Read about Reuben R. Reuben and his many Reubens here:

thereubenblog.blogspot.com

RRR says: 

Oh Reuben. How I love thee.

With you, man has mastered the sandwich. You make the turkey club cower for mercy. The patty melt averts its eyes. Even the mighty monte cristo walks away in shame.

I will find you, Reuben, where you most expect me to: any fine establishment, or shithole, at which you are prepared. The best amongst you will be documented here, for all to share in your majesty.

Let those who have gone before me lead the way. And I, Reuben R. Reuben, will share tales of your glory.

WHAT MAKES THE PERFECT REUBEN?

Many of you have asked me this question recently. And by many, I mean just one. But that’s enough! I must answer this impassioned call.

It’s gotta be big. Not too big that I have to break out the knife and fork…but big enough to make me think a little bit before I attack it. It’s got to make me pause and strategize. I like food that makes me strategize before I eat it. But, I have to be able to manhandle it.
What makes it truly great, or not, is the proportion and relationship of the 3 vital accoutrement; the kraut, the dressing, and the cheese. That relationship has to be blissfully, meltingly, symbiotic. The blend has to be seamless…like the colors of the rainbow fading into one another.

It’s man’s greatest sandwich…where kings commune.
The bread is rye…the king of breads.
The cheese is Swiss….king of the cheeses.
And the beef is corned. It’s the best way to have beef. Everything should be corned. There should be corned turkey…corned ham….corned bologna.
So you have these kings coming together, making the Reuben not simply a sandwich aristocracy, but a sandwich oligarchy

The prototypical big, tall wide receiver or tight end is a fierce football weapon, especially on the goal line.  He is often a “coverage dictator,” forcing a defense to commit itself.  Also these days, “50/50 “deep balls are commonplace in both NFL and college football. A receiver is more valuable when he has a large catch radius, and the skills necessary to “go up and get it.” This is always discussed with varying clarity though, as there has been no perfect way to describe this skill set.

Behold, #GUAGI.(Go Up And Get It)

#GUAGI (noun): a receiver’s ability to gauge the flight of a football, strategically maneuver to catch it at its highest point, & strongly fend off defenders and complete the catch.

#GUAGI needs to be an official scouting term, an attribute easily discussed in conversational shorthand.

My current NFL’s best in #GUAGI:

DeAndre Hopkins

Mike Evans

Rob Gronkowski

Mike Williams

Kyle Pitts soon?

In terms of historical #GUAGI, Randy Moss is the uncontested G.O.A.T.

Note: A receiver need not be tall to have an excellent GUAGI (Steve Smith!), and a tall receiver does not necessarily have good GUAGI (Alshon Jeffrey).

Get your official #GUAGI merchandise here:

www.cafepress.com/guagi

100% of the proceeds go to The Greater Chicago Food Depository.
Let’s fight those food deserts

I will no longer commune and connect with my people every day from 9 to 1. That sucks.
I love being a part of your day. The spontaneity and precariousness of live, interactive radio is unmatched, as is the genuine magic that occurs when a show gets rolling.
Our show was rolling. Spiegel and Parkins had come so far in terms of our chemistry, and you knew it. The quality of the conversation, the unpredictability of every segment, the musicality (or honest lack thereof) in our song parodies, the evolution of ideas, the inclusion of the whole crew with Jay and Rick; the momentum was palpable to everyone. Well, almost everyone.
Also, as you’ve probably read by now, the ratings numbers had steadily climbed and by now were very, very good. That was not the issue. My contract or salary was not the issue. As far as I know, societal conversations and other non-sports content was not the issue.
The issue is that each radio host is not beloved by everyone, and a new boss gets to do what he wants. This has played out in our industry, and others, for decades. Because I’m me, I’m reminded of so many rock bands who sign a record deal with a passionate A & R man, only to be hung out to dry when that record label goes through management changes. I feel a little (just a little) like Wilco when Reprise Records said they didn’t want to put out Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. The band found a way to get the music out, but it was awkward and tumultuous. It’s the content creator’s lot in life to carry on.
So It Goes, as Vonnegut wrote. In that sense it’s been pretty easy to not take the move personally.
But please know that I miss you. We had a hell of a 9 year run.
We is not me and Danny Mac, or me an Jason Goff, or me and Patrick Mannelly, or me and Danny Parkins. It is not me and the 30 or so different co-hosts that have joined from 9 to 1 at some point.
We is me and you. The connection we’ve had is the absolute goods, and I deeply appreciate it. I thank you for hearing me, for yelling to or at me, and most of all for furthering conversations with me. You’ve made my best thoughts funnier and more fleshed out. You’ve withstood my worst thoughts, and let me find good ones again. You’ve shared life experience that helped conversations synthesize and be enriched deeper than I could have imagined.
I’ve always thought of you as one big collective, theoretically comprised of every slice of Chicagoan imaginable. It took a couple years, frankly, to accept that amidst that collective were some that deeply loathed me. Local radio is unique in that way. We are often chosen by listeners with the direct expectation of supplying a target for derision and/or rage. As long as you listen, it counts. This can lead to some really bad programming choices by certain hosts, who go for the easy denominator of being provocative instead of genuine. If you’re not careful, you can lose yourself and become a contrarian by convenience, ready to inhabit a debate role that virtually anyone could play.
Thankfully, I realized this danger, and have worked to avoid it. I didn’t succeed all the time, but please know I tried to remove as much of the filter between my head, heart and microphone as possible. I’ve been me, for better or for worse. Sometimes my sensitivity would show through, but I lived with that because it sure felt better than being a fake tough guy. Anyway, if you feel like you know me, you do.
Onward! I’ll be on the station, filling in on various shows as needed. I’ll resume writing baseball columns for The Score. I’ll be launching the podcast idea of my dreams, through the station’s website. This idea has been percolating a long time…if I can pull it off, it will fuse my worlds together as they’ve been destined to be. And, I’ll obviously still be playing and singing around town with Tributosaurus.
I want to thank each and every one of you who have reached out to wish me well, or remind me of moments that meant something to you. It’s been amazing; kind of like a living wake. I’ve joked that both me and Jason Goff have had that “noble martyr” thing going, like when Conan O’Brien got displaced on The Tonight Show by an entitled, waffling dinosaur in Jay Leno.
But that imagined martyr role doesn’t last, or carry any real heft. I have to create content, and keep the connections with you active. I’m on it. Hell, Conan’s been pretty damn funny since then. Content is king.
You’ll hear or see or read me soon. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your life.
Good vibes babe, (staying on brand)
Matt

I don’t set out aiming to be political on sports radio….we’re your distraction from some truly awful things. We’re the funny papers. But sometimes the issues of the greater world come to us.
Remove yourself from whether you believe Eric Garner’s killer should stand trial, or not. Seriously, take a minute and lose the partisan side, any racial side.
This country was founded on the strength of protests, standing up for fairness. This country was started with a revolution. Starting with the disenfranchised British settlers, minorities of all kinds have since had to stand up for fairness for the last several hundred years. Your lives would not be as free nor as rich as they are today, were it not for protests. And for civil disobedience.
Protesters should write their congressmen, their aldermen, they should post blogs, and more.
And, as long as they don’t turn it into mindless looting or criminal activity, they should march, and scream, and stop traffic to get the nation’s attention. Make a unified, country-wide stand if the energy to do so is there.
And, if an athlete wants to show his support for a cause, he should be applauded for it. Stand for something bigger than yourself. Noah has the commercial about gun control; “what do you stand for?”
Derrick has done and said some really bad, ill-advised things in recent months and years. Neglecting to mention championships as he talked about meetings and graduations was a mistake, then doubling down on it when given a chance to clarify was just awful. Then he tripled down and said he could care less. Bad PR, stupid statements, and selfish, sloppy thoughts.
So he’s done and said some stupid things. This wasn’t one of them.
WHAT ARE YOU MAD ABOUT, IF YOU’RE MAD?
Derrick in general these days? Dumb comments past? Separate things.
Derrick has always been active in talking about, raising money for, and helping in inner city neighborhoods. This is not some new, politically correct issue he doesn’t understand. This is not something he doesn’t understand….he knows it first hand. He has talked about inner city violence, blaming his culture, blaming the city’s structure, not just blaming cops. He’s donated a million dollars to an after school charity trying to keep kids off the streets and a life of crime. He did that 2 months ago.
So much has been discussed about how the goal of his life was to escape his neighborhood, and how he has never lost that connection to and with his struggle. That connection has been cited as a detriment for all sorts of things. And now some of the same people who have written about that connection being a problem are saying that he’s coming from a place of ignorance on it? Shameful.
He doesn’t need to explain what that represented. What wearing that shirt meant. It’s all around you. You watch the video? You see a frustrated man, living a hard life, who’s not going to take it anymore. He can’t face yet another arrest for a very minor crime—selling “loosies,” cigarettes without tax stamps. Mayor Bloomberg has made cops go after stuff like this relentlessly.
You see a dude dying, in an illegal chokehold, begging for his life and his breath? You see him lying there unattended for several minutes before the EMT’s arrived. He died because he could not breathe.
And you need to know what Derrick meant by the t-shirt? It might mean you just don’t want to hear it.